The Catalyst

Sometimes, the doctor would lift Ayano from his hospital bed and place him in a wheelchair. They enjoyed the company, but even more enjoyed looking out of the hospital windows, gazing out upon the bustling city that lay just beyond the hill. It was a beautiful place, and Ayano often wondered what life would be like outside of the pristine, bleach-stained walls of Burrowgatory Hill Hospital. 

But, perhaps they would never know. 

Because they were dying. 

They knew it from the moment their pale lashes fluttered open; the soft murmur of their heart mixed with the drone of the EKG monitor had woken them from their pain-pill-induced slumber. That, or the hushed whispers of the strangers in the room with them. Their eyesight was far too blurry to make out who they could possibly be, but by the sound of their voice alone, it was his doctor - his caretaker - the man he owed his existence to. Ayano strained his ears to listen to the whispered conversation…

“-I told you, they’re my patient,” said Dr. Nishizono. “I won’t have you interfering with my-”

“But they’re dying!” interjected the other voice. “It’s the most humane thing to do in this situation.” 

“I said no. Only I know what is right for my patients,” replied the doctor. Every time he spoke of them in this way, it seemed as if flowers bloomed inside Ayano’s chest cavity. Rich, red orchids made his heart pound and eyes dart frantically - desire, obsession, and the want to feel wanted. Ayano loved it. Whatever Dr. Nishizono wanted for him was best. Whatever this stranger wanted was obviously not right for him. Dr. Nishizono knows best. 

Suddenly, there was a hand by their side. 

“Did we wake you?” asked Mikohara, leaning down over the hospital bed. Ayano always admired his kindness. He was such a loving man.  

Sound fell out of the patient's mouth like raw honey, yet no words could be formed. A small whine is all that escaped in reply to the doctor’s question. Ayano could see another figure approaching the bed, a dark-haired man with tired eyes. They had never seen him before, but there was something…offputting…about his energy. All Ayano could do was look up at the pair and smile weakly. 

“See?” said the strange man, gesturing to the patient. “They can’t even-” 

“Hush, Timothy,” interrupted Mikohara. “I think that you should take your leave now.” Timothy…if Ayano remembered correctly, that was the name of the bun who ran the blood bank downstairs. What was he doing in their room? 
Ayano watched as Timothy glared at Dr. Nishizono before taking his leave. The doctor turned back to the bun lying in the bed and gave them a small smile. “I do hope your rest was not disturbed by our conversing,” said Mikohara, “It was rude of us to speak of the patient in their presence.”

“‘s-okay,” Ayano mumbled. They reached out their hand and placed it on top of the doctor’s. His warmth radiated through his fingertips- Ayano often daydreamed about being a red blood cell inside of Mikohara’s veins; an odd fantasy, but there was no other way that Ayano could think of to show his admiration for the man. 

The doctor fished something out of his coat pocket. “Here,” he said, offering it to Ayano. “Take this. You’ll feel better after you wake up.”

The pill was heavy on their tongue, but Ayano quickly drifted into a dreamless slumber. He wished that death would take him and that he could be dreamless forever.

But that was not the case.

When Ayano awoke again, only a faint glow of the various blinking machines around him lit up the room; no light showed through the blinds on the hospital windows. The bun lay in the dark for quite a few minutes, trying to get his bearings - he still felt dizzy from the pills, and his vision wasn’t getting any better. It wasn’t until he noticed a dark shadow by his side that he started to feel uneasy. 

“...hello?” Ayano whispered. Something in the back of his brain told him that he was just hallucinating again; maybe he could just close his eyes, and everything would go back to normal. 

“Hello,” said the dark shadow. Hm. That’s not normal. Maybe it's a really smart hallucination, Ayano thought. The thing took a closer step to his bed, and in the dim light, Ayano could tell that it was the man from earlier - what was his name? Timothy? “It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Ayano hadn’t even thought about the possibility of TImothy hurting him, but now he was worried about it. Their breathing started to pick up as Timothy leaned down over the bed and straight towards him. This was not how he was supposed to die! They were supposed to be peaceful, dreamless, weightless, and empty. His death was not for Timothy to take; it was for-!

Two sharp pinpricks pierced their neck. It was as if their veins had turned to ice, sending a chill down from their horns to their hooves. They squirmed under the pressure, yet the force of the man above them pinning them down was far too great. Their brain went fuzzy as the beeping of the EKG monitor started to frenzy. He could hear the door to their room slam open, light pouring in from the hallway as figures rushed into his room. Shouting, screaming, yet the pain in their neck did not stop. Memories of their short life tumbled and tripped over one another as Ayano fought for consciousness. He tried to focus on the happiness, yet all he could remember was anguish. Well, except for one… the warmth of his doctor’s hands, placed gently on his own. The soft smile and the rush of blood. Blood, blood, blood…something so tantalizing about it all of a sudden. It was all Ayano wanted; it was all he craved. A starving hunger in his gut that could not be satiated. 

When the screaming stopped, Ayano felt better. Doctors he had never met rushed to his side, yet TImothy was nowhere to be seen. When Mikohara took their hand in his, all they could think of was the blood hidden inside, just beyond the flesh. Perhaps one day, they would get to taste it… hmm, that was a nice thought.

Something had changed, yet Ayano could not figure out what. He decided that the moment he could, he would ask Dr. Nishizono to visit the blood bank downstairs. He’d need to talk to Timothy…but right now was not the time.