Returning Cherubun

It should have been comfort to be in one of the lush greenhouses of the Heavenly Embassy, a gentle reminder of where he was born, but now Lapis felt nothing more than anxiety as he walked through the warm grass.

He could see Primrose, standing by the edge of a flowerbed, the cherubun’s sharp eyes following his every move with an expression that made him feel nervous.

It was no less than what Lapis expected, not after he left the embassy for the burrows. Where he changed from a devote follower of Melangel who dared not break any rules, to the public relations of a rock band that’s entire brand seemed to be hazardous chaos.

He approached the other bun carefully, his fingers nervously tugging at the tattered holes on his left ear. “H-Hello.” He tried to ignore his voice cracking from his nerves.

“Lapis.” Primrose started, slowly looked the blue cherubun up and down. The ripped clothes, the chains and harness, even the false piercing before he scoffed in a rude tone, “You certainly took your time getting here.”

Lapis looked down, his stomach swirling with an ache that never entirely left him when he spoke to other cherubuns. “It was hard to g-get time away.”

“So you do actual work instead of lazing around? I didn’t think succubuns were capable of such things.” Primrose hufffed, his mouth twisted as he pushed a trowel into Lapis’ hands. “I thought you would never return here. Not without your succubun cohorts.”

Lapis tried not to feel upset by Primrose’s tone, there were plenty of cherubuns that were disappointed in his choice to live down in the burrows. However, the shame of leaving all that Lapis knew behind was something that still dug into him.

He took the trowel with a deep breath, before meekly muttering, “What s-should I do?”

The question felt heavy, unintentionally having more than one meaning to it.

They stared at each other for a brief moment, until Primrose gestured down to the flowerbed. “Start digging small holes, I will go behind you and drop in the seeds.”

“Is that all?”

“This isn’t difficult.”

The following silence was almost painful as Lapis crouched down and started to dig, the trowel gripped tightly in his hands. He wished he was like Minerva, proud enough to get angry if someone was being rude to her, but he wasn’t some big succubun, he was a shy cherubun that could barely raise his head.

Primrose was quiet behind him as he planted the seeds quickly, his hands moving with an efficiency that showed his experience in gardening.

Lapis watched until he couldn’t help but try to break the ice, to ward away the dark cloud above them both. “Have you always liked gardening, Primrose?”

“I don’t do it because I like it, cherubuns need ambrosia.” Primrose snapped, his voice uncharacteristically angry before he froze when he saw the look he was given. He cleared his throat, softening his voice, “However, I do admit, it’s calming.”

Lapis smiled shakily, the anger had frightened him, “It is.”

The pair continued to work on the flowerbed, before it seemed Primrose was warring with himself. He blurted out in a manner that was almost unlike him, rushed and awkward, “You realize you are welcome back to the embassy if this business with those succubuns doesn’t turn out how you wish.”

Lapis looked up, his eyes wide, before he rushed out a quick, “Thank you, Primrose,” before it could be taken back.

Primrose almost seemed irritated by the comment, rolling his eyes. “That doesn’t mean I approve.”

“I know,” Lapis smiled, he looked like his old self, freshly fallen from the meadow. When he idolized Primrose and tried to follow him around every time he saw him. “But you don’t have to.”

Primrose was quiet, before he looked at the flowerbeds once again. “We should continue, there was plenty more seeds to plant. I don’t imagine you can afford to lose an entire day to this.”

Lapis nodded, “Yeah I have a lot to catch up on when I leave.” He would have explained more, but he knew Primrose wouldn’t understand. Instead, he moved to another flowerbed and began to dig holes.

This interaction felt him with questions that he didn’t dare ask aloud. Was Primrose angry with him for leaving the embassy, or was it because Lapis hadn’t come back to visit? Did the other cherubuns even think he was alive before he sent word of what he was doing?

Maybe Lapis had done more hurt than he realized and maybe it was easier for Primrose to blame the succubuns around him. Maybe helping with the plants would eventually lead to him clearing the air, maybe he could even get Primrose to accept him for who he was now.