HEY SKIBIDI GAMERS

Has the ceiling always been that white? Dennis pours the contents of an open jar of cashews into his mouth as he lounges on a beanbag, staring at the ceiling. He’s been hard at work for hours, documenting every bump and crack of his bedroom ceiling. Very captivating stuff. He rolls forward, head in his  hooves. “Oh, who am I kidding? I’m bored out of my fucking skull! Why didn’t anyone tell me not having to work for a living was boring as hell?" Normally, he’d entertain himself with Davis, but, well, his boyfriend was at work. With effort, he drags his temporary nest and snacks over to his TV. Maybe he’ll dust off the ol’ Haystation(TM), it’s been months since he even touched it.

While the system starts up, Dennis is still troubled. Who does he know that doesn’t have a real job that can play with him? He scrolls his Friend List. “Steven… Amanda…? cryptidfucker420?? Who the hell are these people? Man, do I even know anybun on here? …Oh, there we go!” There, midway down and greyed-out is Chanti, his littermate, best friend, and casual-at-best gamer. Perfect. Chanti likes to pretend he’s busy, but everybun knows his racetrack isn’t a real job. The grey bun calls up Chanti on Legally Distinct Purple Gaming App.

“Hey Dennis, uh, what’s up? You, like, never call me on Legally Distinct Purple Gaming App.”

“I’m bored.”

“...Okay?”

“Like, really bored. I spent the afternoon mentally mapping my ceiling.”

“Oh, so this is serious.”

“Yeah. Wanna play Super Bash Brothers Maul?”

“...Dennis, you know ah ain’t no good at that game.”

“No way man, you’re way better than you think! You’re way too hard on yourself!” Dennis lies.

“Well… alright. Ah’ll do it fer you, since this is such a serious situation.” Something in Chanti’s voice on the other end of the line leads Dennis to believe that the yellow bun is still not taking this as seriously as he should. Minutes later, Chanti is online and they’re playing their first match. They’re using their mains, with Dennis as Macaulay Bulkin and Chanti as Killda Swinton.

****

“GAME!” For the fourth match in a row, Chanti has been three-stocked.

“Dennis, what the hell?? Can you like… stop doin’ that… that thing?”

-cromch cromch cromch- Dennis munches on his cashews over the microphone. “What, my Bash Attack? Getting the Bash Orb is like the whole point! It’s my strongest attack, why wouldn’t I use it? You should try playing better.”

“Fuck you, this is why ah hate playin’ with you! You never go easy on me!”

“This is me going easy! Maybe you just suck.”

Apparently that crossed some line, and Chanti disconnects the call and their online match. “Wow, what a sore loser,” Dennis chuckles to himself. “But without Chanti, who am I going to play with now?”

To pass the time, Dennis does a few story mode quests until a little notification pops up on the bottom right of his screen. 

‘SulfurFan69 is online.’

‘SulfurFan69 has challenged you to a match.’

Dennis blinks at the popups. SulfurFan69 doesn’t sound familiar, but apparently they’re Friends. He accepts the challenge.

“More prey for Macaulay Bulkin,” he grins to himself.

SulfurFan69 loads in, selecting Michael Beatin’ as their character, which gives Dennis pause. That’s definitely familiar. Michael Beatin’ is far from a strong character in the current meta, but he remembered playing a lot with someone who was REALLY good with him.

“Eh, probably a coincidence. Kill ‘em Macaulay!”

SulfurFan69’s play is impeccable. They’re wavedashing. They’re using Michael’s Shine perfectly. Their grabs are excellently timed, and worst of all, Dennis hasn’t been able to get the Bash Orb once.

“GAME!”

“Ergh, come on…”

“GAME!”

“C-Come on!” Dennis tosses his controller across the room. …Then gets up to retrieve it so he can close his connection with SulfurFan69. Before he can, he gets another notification popup.

“That was for Killda Swinton.”

Dennis reads the message. Then he reads it again. “Huh??”

(666 words)